Creative energy

And how to find it

Image courtesy of juliacameronlive.com

It’s no secret that recently, I’ve been feeling somewhat untethered. Not directionless, exactly—just more aware of how detached I’ve become to my creativity.

And to be honest, it’s unnerving.

Up until this point, I’ve felt lucky that as a writer, my professional life and creative energy have been somewhat interwoven—two forces that have worked symbiotically to not only provide me with an income, but also satisfy my creative urges. However, since becoming a parent, I have slowly felt a sense of distance growing between myself—the Mother—and myself—the Writer. And recently, I’ve been trying to examine why this has happened.

While ‘society’ and (let’s be honest), Instagram, likes to paint a picture of motherhood that speaks very much to it being a season that is fleeting—and therefore one that must be enjoyed every waking moment while we’re living through it—there is never any mention of who or what the Mother did before the demands on her time and her pool of creative energy began to be drained by a tiny human (or humans, as the case may be). Nor is there any mention of any tools that might help said Mother rediscover or unearth her identity or recharge her creativity once she has emerged from the mountain of nappies that has been slowly crushing her for the past several weeks/months/years.

As I have touched on in a previous newsletter, I’ve felt a gentle sense of yearning for something to call my own again for a while. But funnily enough, it wasn’t until I was presented with the opportunity to reflect on how motherhood has changed my creative practice when Heidi Fiedler (fellow Substacker and creator of Mothers Who Make) generously allowed me to be part of her interview series, that I gave myself the space and grace to really zoom out and consider how all-consuming motherhood really is. And, how impactful it can be on our creative resources.

Feeling both inspired and determined to take this momentum and develop some sort of roadmap that led me back to my own creativity—I turned to my bookshelf, as I often do. Whilst it is bursting with books I have read and enjoyed (sometimes several times over), it also houses a few surprises, as scattered amongst its shelves are a few books with pages I’ve yet to turn. So when, on this particular day, I found myself reaching for The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron—I took it as a sign.

Hailed as ‘the queen of change’ by The New York Times, Julia Cameron is famous for demystifying the creative process with The Artist’s Way, essentially a step-by-step guide for those looking to reboot, refresh or recover their creativity. And despite having owned this book for a while and known about its ‘so-called powers’ for many years, I’ve never fully committed to the process. So I thought, why not now?

While you may not have heard of the book itself, you’ve likely heard rumblings from the creative underground whose members speak to the profound benefits of a ritual known as The Morning Pages. This daily practice (which involves completing three pages of longhand, stream-of-consciousness writing) is arguably the most famous tool to come out of The Artist’s Way and helps to clear the mind, inspire creativity to blossom and quieten ones’ internal critic. And while I’m only a few weeks in, I can already vouch for the benefits of this seemingly mindless ritual.

Although I’m not yet sure where this path will lead—I’m allowing myself to simply remain curious. And what’s fascinating is that by dedicating myself to a more formal creative practice each morning, it has also given me permission to set aside my moniker as Mother and attempt to uncomfortably wedge some creative energy into my day… amongst the crushing mountain of nappies, laundry and snack-fetching, of course.

PS. If you’ve read The Artist’s Way, I’d love to know what you thought of the process so please leave a comment below.