First rule of parenting: never say things out loud
Karma will get you.
I should have known better. I should have just kept my big mouth shut. But alas, it’s too late for all that now.
As seasoned parents reading this will understand all too well, the first rule of parenting is that you NEVER say things out loud. Especially if they’re positive updates and/or insinuate your life is going well. Things like: thank goodness, little Lucy is finally sleeping through the night! OR touch wood, we haven’t had a bout of gastro come through the house in nearly three months!
Why? Well, as soon as you do, whatever you have chosen to announce arrogantly to the world will come rushing forth ten-fold. You can guarantee that once you tell your mum mates that little Lucy has finally slept through after 27 months of hell, she will reward your bragging by returning to a state of sleeplessness, inhabiting the persona of the Exorcist and making your life miserable. It’s even worse if you claim that you and your kids haven’t been sick lately. You can bet that as soon as those words escape your lips, your little cherub will return from daycare with hand foot and mouth, influenza A and a hefty dose of gastro to round out your month.
So last week when I decided to share some more positive words with you all and announce that my period of hamster-wheeling life might finally be turning a corner, what happened? My four year old decided to spike a temperature the day before school holidays and preceded to lie flat on his back on the couch for the next week, barely eating, barely moving and writhing in pain from the cold sore virus he picked up at daycare. Fast forward a week and of course, our almost two year old begins to come down with strikingly similar symptoms. First the fevers, then the sleeplessness, then the mouth ulcers, cold sores and agony (hers and mine).
While the lesson in all this is surrender, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes it would be nice to not have to. Sometimes it would be nice to stick a middle finger up to the world and tap out because after having another week written off, I’m exhausted by it all. Another week that makes me feel like I’ve taken one step forward only to take 37 backward, another week where sleep feels like a distant memory and another week where there is sweet F-all to show for my efforts except for a grubby house, a pile of dirty laundry and a raging coffee addiction.
So there we have it. Happy Thursday everyone—let’s hope next week brings sunnier skies our way!
Ooohhhh I feel your pain! Gosh parenting is never ending, like you said. As soon as there is a tiny amount of smooth sailing the universe just goes LOL!!! And hits you with something else. Thank goodness us mothers are so resilient. But it would be nice if we didn’t have to be! Sending love and strength your way.
With you. Love and hugs Mama. Hang in there xx